Learn all about the flyboy. Or not.
But not as sexy as me! HoooooWAHHHHH!!!
Don't say I didn't warn you sucker!
Mercy is for the weak!
It's smart Jerry! It's smart! And I'm not dumbing it down for you!
This is the best game in history!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Pure Motorized Instinct

So today was another fantastic February day in Zombie-ville.

The weather was shit, cold and gray. The kind of gray you get when you mix a bunch of different watercolors in a single glass and then stir it up.

Upchuck Gray. That's what I call it.

The temp is getting colder again, and I haven't seen the fucking sun in forever.

Not that I like the sun, but I could use a little damn variety now and then.

I watched Scrubs tonight, and normally it's one of my favorite shows, but today's episode was as flat as a 10 year old girl.

Just didn't do it for me.

After that, I tuned in to the finale of the "Amazing Race", which by the way isn't very damn amazing. It amuses me though, so I watch it. Anyway, the little midgets that could, couldn't, so they lost, and some boner model people won.

Great... They're good looking... And now they're rich!!!

Yay. Life sure is fair.

Speaking of little people, I was at the bar a couple of weeks ago, drunker than owl-shit, and the bartender was this woman who had to be about 4'11 or so. She was really short, and had some big boobage going on. Picture a less pretty Christina Ricci before she got the breast reduction and you have her.

I thought she was cute.

Unfortunately I did too many damn shots, so instead of being my clever, smooth as Land'O Lakes butter self, I just drooled and mumbled on about how she was a really cute little midget and that I was going to take her home with me.

Way to go fucktard.

That's about the time the blackouts started, so I don't really remember what she did or thought about all this. Hopefully, the next time I go in there, she'll be working and we can talk. No matter what happens, I feel a little bad about being so drunk and saying who knows what to her. So I intend to apologize if need be, and make her laugh a little, and smile a lot. I'm gonna be so damn charming and nice that the charm and niceness emanate from me like warm golden rays of sunlight.

And then I'll take her cute little midget ass home, and fuck her like there's no more Christmas.

Might even use the coke bottle.

Ha ha.

I rule.

The End.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?