Learn all about the flyboy. Or not.
But not as sexy as me! HoooooWAHHHHH!!!
Don't say I didn't warn you sucker!
Mercy is for the weak!
It's smart Jerry! It's smart! And I'm not dumbing it down for you!
This is the best game in history!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Sometimes... You've just got to say what the fuck.

Hello world, this is your host Gene Rayburn, welcoming you back to "Truth/Untruth".

Let's take a look at Zombie Flyboy's answers and see how well you all did.

Number 10.
I spent 3 and 1/2 years in prison for killing a man in 96. I was released due to DNA evidence proving my innocence.

That would be a big negatory on that one ghost rider. A big negatory. There have been many times in my life where murder did seem like a viable option, but I never gave in to temptation. So the answer is False.

The Score:

Cananopie 1, Sandy Brown 1, MadameD 0, JessicaRabbit 0, Jessica 1

Number 9.
I've lost a total of five pounds in the last two weeks. My stamina is improving and my jump shot is becoming deadly once more.

There's not much to tell on this one. I'm a far sight from where I want to be, but I am getting there slowly but surely. The answer is true.

The Score:

Cananopie 2, Sandy Brown 2, MadameD 1, JessicaRabbit 1, Jessica 2

Number 8.
After the prom, I made sweet, sweet, love to the prom queen.

This is the one that every one of you low life fuckers thinks couldn't possibly have happened. Well, I'll have you know that the prom queen that year wasn't your typical "Tiffany Amber Michelle" type of slutty stuck up bitch. She was a really cool girl who was in a lot of my classes and she liked me a lot.

But the answer is false. I turned down a good thing in the prom queen for a "Tiffany Amber Michelle" slut faced barbie cheerleader bitch. Because I was young and dumb, and always went for what wasn't right for me. I was really stupid back then. Way stupider than I am now if you can believe that. I wish I had a do over on this.

Once again, the answer is false.

The Score:

Cananopie 3, Sandy Brown 3, MadameD 2, JessicaRabbit 2, Jessica 3

Number 7.

I've never been farther west than Pike's Peak in Colorado.

This is true. I've been to 11 states in all. Boy oh boy, this zombie fucking gets around huh?

The Score:

Cananopie 4, Sandy Brown 4, MadameD 3, JessicaRabbit 2, Jessica 4

Number 6.

I have a lazy eye, and had to wear a dorky as shit eye patch when I was a kid.

Unfortunately, this one is true. The eye patch was supposed to make the lazy eye work and get stronger, and it did, eventually getting damn near 20/20. But the thing is, as soon as I quit with the patch shit, it got lazy again and went back down to it's lazy state of about 60/20. I haven't patched my good eye in years, and probably never will. If my eye is lazy, it's just lazy, and that's ok with me. It's nothing anyone ever notices anyway. It's not like it looks one way, while my other eye looks the other. So once again, the answer to that one is true.

And Cananopie, Dawn does know about this. I think we're going to form a support group for former eye-patch wearing pirate people.

The Score:

Cananopie 4, Sandy Brown 4, MadameD 4, JessicaRabbit 2, Jessica 4

Ok people, we're at the halfway point here and it's still anyone's game. Please stay tuned for the second half of "Truth/Untruth", but first a word from our sponsor.

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Ok friends, we're back for the exciting conclusion of "Truth/Untruth", let's remind everyone, what the score is once again before we start.

The Score:

Cananopie 4, Sandy Brown 4, MadameD 4, JessicaRabbit 2, Jessica 4

Number 5.

When I was in second grade, I fell out of a moving car. It was only going about 25, so I just popped back up like nothing happened and got back in.

It's pretty crazy, but this is true. My mom had picked me up from school, and stupidly, I didn't shut the car door very well. We hadn't traveled very far, when we hit a bump in the road, the door opened, and out I went. It didn't really hurt me, just put a bump on my head, and embarrassed the hell out of me. I mean, you have to be pretty stupid to fall out of a car. I got up really fast and ran up to the car and hopped in. My mom was all pale and freaked out, but I was just, drive man, drive, people are watching us. Don't make this any more embarrassing than it is. After I got home, I put some ice on my head, and all was well. Answer: True.

The Score:

Cananopie 4, Sandy Brown 5, MadameD 5, JessicaRabbit 3, Jessica 4

Number 4.

When I was a young zombie, I used to watch "The Facts of Life" all the time and had an intense crush on Tootie.

I'll admit to watching "The Facts of Life" now and again, but really, I was a "Diff'rent Strokes" kind of guy. As for the crush on Tootie, nope, never happened, although if I was going to crush on any of them, I think it would be her. False

The Score:

Cananopie 4, Sandy Brown 5, MadameD 6, JessicaRabbit 3, Jessica 4

Number 3.

My favorite vegetable is Okra.

Okra is awesome, and I just planted some a couple of days ago. I can't wait until it's ready to eat. I LOVE IT! The answer here, is true.

The Score:

Cananopie 5, Sandy Brown 5, MadameD 6, JessicaRabbit 3, Jessica 5

Number 2.

I wrote a monthly column for my high school newspaper. It was not about Zombies.

This one is true. It was like a blog, but only before blogs existed. I had a lot of fun doing it, and writing it was one of the things I missed the most when I graduated high school. I also wrote movie reviews, an advise column, (once a year) and the occasional filler story.

The Score:

Cananopie 6, Sandy Brown 6, MadameD 7, JessicaRabbit 4, Jessica 6

Number 1.

I am a lineman for the county.

This doesn't have anything to do with me. It's just the beginning of an old country song called "Wichita Lineman". It just popped into my head and I thought if would be funny to have as my last fact. So the answer is false.

The Score:

Cananopie 7, Sandy Brown 7, MadameD 7, JessicaRabbit 4, Jessica 7

So that's the final score. We have a four way tie for first place, and since I have not set up a tie breaker, I guess everybody wins.

Even JessicaRabbit!

That's all for today folks, tune in next time for another exciting episode of "Truth/Untruth". I'm Gene Rayburn, wishing you a most excellent night.

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