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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Mr. Cruise, I'm calling you OUT again!

Hey, this is getting old. I keep seeing you in the news with that wonderful girl Katie Holmes. Well, she's not nearly as wonderful now that you've implanted her with your Herpes sores and midget cooties, but still, I kind of dig her.

You really should have answered my challenge like a man Mr. Cruise. But no, you have to hide behind your agents and bodyguards boyfriends. Which is fine I guess.

I should have expected no less from you, you fucking tapeworm dressed in designer duds, who calls himself a man.

You are evil and you suck!

You may have been able to mind control Katie, and you might be able to fool the idiotic public at large. But you can't fucking fool me you big shit stain. You can pose in front of a million cameras until there's peace in the middle east, and I still won't believe that you're anything but a gay midget.

And in honor of your latest hijinks, here are three of the most bullshit public kisses I've ever seen.

Media Whores Of The World Unite!

Ok. It's rare when I see two women kiss and don't think it's hot, but there is nothing sexy about this. It's just pathetic and sad that Madonna felt she needed some help from Britney to get a headline. As for Britney, her music stinks, and now she's just relying on stunts like this, and now getting knocked up, to stay in the spotlight. How very sad. And could this picture be any less erotic? I've seen more passion watching two dogs fuck in the park. Britney looks uncomfortable, and Madonna just looks bored. What a crock of shit!

He's just a normal red blooded man like everyone else!

Yeah, here's wacko jacko, normal dude, woman chasing, non-little boy fucking, man about town. He's got a thing for the ladies and he's not afraid to show it. Man oh man, the first thing I thought about when I saw this fucking picture was that it's definite proof that Elvis is as dead as a bag of hammers. Because if he wasn't, this shit would have brought him right the fuck out of hiding. I think he would have went all kung fu on the king of pop and maybe even killed him. I don't think he'd go for his daughter being in that sick church cult of scientology that fuckhead Cruise goes to as well. The really sad thing about this picture is that it's been said that Michael practiced kissing a mannequin for hours before he kissed Lisa Marie in real life. Why not practice with her???? Oh yeah. He's crazier than batshit, that's why.


Yeah, sure you aren't Mr. Cruise. Sure you aren't. And this way hot picture of the spicey sizzle and amore between you and Katie proves it. Oh wait. This picture is about as bland and stale as a bowl of un-seasoned grits, kind of like your performance in "Eyes Wide Shut" where you were supposed to be sensual with your then marriage of convenience partner wife, Nicole Kidman. Now, it's a given that she has a big sloppy cunt that has the aroma of a musky and long unused bedroom, but you seemed extremely uneasy around her, and the chemistry between the two of you was zilch.

In contrast, the chemistry between you and Brad Pitt in "Interview With The Vampire" was hot, hot, hot, and had you been endowed with anything more than an infant's cock, I'm sure we could have seen your erection throughout the movie. Just be true to yourself Mr. Cruise, and stop bullshitting everyone. No one buys it, and I for one am tired of your games.

And your herpes sores on Katie's face!

Later on Mr. Keebler Elf, say hi to E.L Fudge when you're taking it up the ass from him.


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