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But not as sexy as me! HoooooWAHHHHH!!!
Don't say I didn't warn you sucker!
Mercy is for the weak!
It's smart Jerry! It's smart! And I'm not dumbing it down for you!
This is the best game in history!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

In the Kingdom of the Perv, the one eyed man is a Penis.



Electric Boogalo

Let us begin.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a dirty girl who had a buttlog and wrote about very dirty, dirty, things such as *fetishes. This smutty girl's name was Palova Dela Cruze Van Hoy and she was known far and wide throughout the buttlog kingdom for her ability to titillate and enthrall.

But then one day, a dark cloud fell upon the buttlog kingdom when a pig ass fucker named Tom Cruise Google declared that Palova must be stopped. And just like that, the fetish posts stopped coming, never to return.

The people fell into great despair. Some even went so far as to purchase swanky magazines such as Esquire, Big Bald Beavers, and People in search of perverse thrills, but none were to be found.

Until one day a champion appeared most bold and true. A defender of all things smutty and filthy, a champion who set forth to bring back tales of the fetish kind for the pleasure of all!

And bring them back he shall, because that champion is ME!

Me! Me! Me!

Bet you didn't see that coming did you?

Anyway, a fetish is promised and a fetish I will deliver, and a really strange one at that. Now I have to tell you right now, that I thought I had seen or heard of pretty much everything at this point in my life. Nothing really shocks or surprises me anymore, but this did. I had never seen this or heard of it. What is it? What kind of fetish am I talking about?

Drumroll please...

The fetish of conjoined twins.

That's right. Conjoined twins.

I don't get it. I don't understand it. But I guess that to some people, conjoined twins are as hot as donkey snot on the planet Mercury, which the scientists tell me is in fact, pretty damn hot.

I think it's safe to say that Bernie Mac would not approve of this.

But if you want to disregard Bernie's stamp of disapproval, then you are more than welcome to pay Doctor Mercurious Prospero a visit.

If you dare!

Just don't say Bernie didn't warn you.




And they all lived kinky ever after.

The End.

This concludes our tale of fetish.

*Fetish: Associating pleasure (often sexual in nature) with normal, everyday items, such as a woman's long, silky smooth hair that just begs to be french braided, or even clothing items such as sexy white captain's hats.

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