Learn all about the flyboy. Or not.
But not as sexy as me! HoooooWAHHHHH!!!
Don't say I didn't warn you sucker!
Mercy is for the weak!
It's smart Jerry! It's smart! And I'm not dumbing it down for you!
This is the best game in history!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Mother, motherfuck, mother, motherfuck, fuck. Motherfuck, motherfuck, noich, noich, noich.


I'm really happy with how things went with the extreme zombie buttlog makeover. The responses were all positive except for Dan in Delaware who wrote:

"You have shit. You are shit. You kill shit. You stink shit. You fuck shit. You wear shit. You grab shit. You salt shit. You poop shit."


Pretty weird, but thanks for the feedback Dan.

Anyway, the buttlog was received well I think, but I have to tell you this wasn't my first choice for a design. Like most of the events in history, my layout came about through a series of mis-calculations, blunders, and pure dumb luck. It could have turned out very different if even one thing or sequence of events had been altered.

For instance, think back to the Revolutionary War. What would have happened if Paul Revere had been getting his knob bobbed by some scarlet lady, and instead of yelling, "The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!", he just yelled, "I'm coming! I'm coming! Ooooh right there baby. Right fucking there." instead???

Things might have been pretty different.

Or what if instead of saying, "Let them eat cake.", Marie Antoinette told everyone to climb through her dense, brushpile like bush, and eat her big fat pussy???

Things might have been pretty different.

Or what if the entire cast of M.A.S.H. had all signed up to star in the spinoff series called AfterMash???

Things might have been pretty different.

And what if that dipfuck Bush had won the presidency, got us into a war, wrecked the economy, and ruined our international relations???


Anyway, these are the kind of things I think about. The choices we make in life that got us where we are now, and could have gotten us somewhere else if only we had turned left instead of right.

Just like the crap in this movie.

So what would have happened if I had farted instead of took a shit? How would that have affected my buttlog? What would it look like?


Which is pretty damn cool I think!

It's a superior design. The content is much more interesting, and the style is modernized schizo avant-garde. The social commentary is biting, ironic satire at it's finest, suitable for coffee table discussions in between commercial breaks for PBS fundraisers.

In a parallel universe that is what my buttlog would look like.

Unfortunately for you, you live in this universe.

With me!

Not the other me!

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