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Thursday, October 06, 2005

With apologies to Conan Obrien...

Hi there buttloggers and crackheads!

Your old pal the zombie flyboy here. Over the past seven or eight years that I've been doing this little online extravaganza it's became common knowledge that I have certain, how shall we say...


At the top of that list is one, Tom Thumb Cruise. It's easy to hate on the couch jumping, dick-nosed, human skid mark that is Tommy boy, but I think it's time to maybe bury the hatchet.

If Katie wants to be with him, ok, fine. She's contaminated now with the Tom Cruise taint, clinically known as Herpes simplex 100. She's so dirty and stained with incredible Tom filth, that even a lifetime of dipping into Dawson's fucking creek and douching with battery acid wouldn't cleanse her.

If she wants to have his babies that's fine with me, and I'd just like to here and now, in front of the whole world say, "Congratulations".

Here is a happy photo of the couple preparing the baby room.

In honor of this joyous time, I have taken the liberty of using my vast wealth and access to the latest gene splicers, dna sequencers, colecovisions, and magic eight balls to look into the future and see what their lovely child will look like.

Behold! The TomKat baby!

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