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Monday, March 06, 2006

I hate myself and want to die.

So I was traveling around a while back, and during those travels, I went to this little hole in the wall diner type place. There wasn't a smoking or non-smoking section, which was kind of different but didn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things, as the entire place reeked of chili.

Chili happened to be the special of the day.

I did not order the chili.

But as I was reading the menu, I noticed they had a breakfast challenge. The deal was, if you could eat four and a half pounds of pancakes, then you got it for free.

This of course, got me to thinking, how many pancakes would that actually be?

By my guess, you'd have to eat between 35-60 pancakes to win that challenge. Maybe some of you out there who cook can actually figure out a real number for me.

Anyway, the point is, you'd have to eat a shitload of those suckers to get a free breakfast. I know for a fact that if I eat more than two or three, I feel like my stomach is going to fucking explode, or that it's all going to come back up.

Also figure that you're going to need syrup, and that pancakes are notorious for soaking up tons and tons of syrup. You will need several bottles worth at least. If you want butter, then you're probably going to need a big tub of that too. And if you want something to drink, which of course you will, then that will make you fill up even faster.

So I think this challenge is impossible.

What do y'all think?

P.S. I ordered a cheeseburger.

It wasn't bad.

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