Learn all about the flyboy. Or not.
But not as sexy as me! HoooooWAHHHHH!!!
Don't say I didn't warn you sucker!
Mercy is for the weak!
It's smart Jerry! It's smart! And I'm not dumbing it down for you!
This is the best game in history!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Steal My Birthday And You WILL Go Down.

As many of you know, I recently discovered that the no talent sperm receptacle Jessica Simpson had stolen my birthday.

This angered me greatly.

As many of you also know, when I get mad, I get even. So off to my million dollar research facilities, hidden somewhere in the mountains of lower Kanza-Loompara, I went. I had only been there a few minutes when my special ZOM-CO brand computers (patent pending) began to spit out some alarming data. I checked and I double checked to make certain no errors had been made. I narrowed the parameters. I reconfigured the flux capacitor. I pounded the flange hydrocellator.

I even drank some purple soda, but that is another experiment for another time.

The results remained the same.

A shocking correlation had been discovered.

I just had to make sure.

So finally, I ran the last test with my own ZOM-CO brand facial recognition software (patent pending). My software is always right, and never fucks up the way that shit software did a while back. You know, the shit software that said I looked like super tardo Juliet Lewis.




Here is what my investigation has uncovered...

Jessica Simpson is really Michael Jackson!

Click To Enlarge

This is a time lapsed montage of Jessica Simpson's disguise being broken down and removed by my super awesome ZOM-CO brand computer and special ZOM-CO brand software (patent pending).

Now you know why you've never seen pictures of the two of them taken together. Now you know why Nick divorced her skeezy over-rated and untalented poop-hole.

But this is only the beginning I'm sure. My awesome as fuck ZOM-CO brand computers (patent pending) are still on the job and I'm not through with this birthday stealing shit blister by a long shot.

Stay tuned for more dirt and shocking secrets.


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